Day 2

02:11 - 8/20/09

The police just left. Once again just after the hour of 01:00 the neighborhood banshee unleashed her terror upon the world... my world... Once again I lie awake, waiting for the next ride to dream land. I am so tired. I did not fall asleep at work yesterday, but that only because I am so busy I don't have time to fall asleep. I almost had to pull off to the side of the interstate on the way home because I'm so sleep depraived that my stomach is nautious. This is part of my issue with the state my physical life has become. Living on exhaustion because I can't get one night's sleep is killing me.

They actually picked her up and took her in this time; thank the Goddess! Every night she gets drunk (and stoned on some kind of drug.) Once she has had her fill she begins screaming and fighting with anyone and everyone, even people that aren't there. Tonight she involved her poor children who were sleeping soundly inside. That's where my social acceptance of such behavior ends. I cannot abide child neglect or abuse of any kind. The entire lot of them live on welfare and it is beyond my intelligence as to how they all smoke, drink themselves silly, and stay stoned on drugs 24/7.

Living in this miserable place has given me a close up view of how our social networks, designed to help the poor and indigent survive, have become a complicated web of misuse and abuse. It literally tears me up inside to see grown adults, who have learned how to bilk the system, rob our communities of resources that could be put to use doing any number of things to build a better future for its inhabitants.

Just want to get sleepy again.

18:50

Today was not one of my best days. I guess three nights of less than four hours sleep has taken its toll. I fell off the wagon and ate comfort food. I don't feel too guilty because I have been down this road before. I will just keep looking forward and hope for better times next week.