Changes . . .
in season are not the only changes happening in our world. C and I are finally turning the last page on the latest chapter in our so called life. We are moving to a little house in a community that lies not far from my work, in a town that will offer us a safe place to reconnect with how life should be lived.
Living in such a bad area for going on five years has opened our eyes to so many of life's circumstances; some good, some not so good. No matter the circumstances and experiences of the last five years we are willing, able and ready to move beyond the life we endured here.
Reflective
Looking back I can’t help but wonder, briefly, where our paths would have lead us by now had I followed a different path. Would I have already moved to Spokane to be with my closest friends by now? Would I have moved back home and reconnected with a lifestyle I left for a reason? I might have found a jumping off place for career a lot sooner and I might have been finished with school by now. I may have met someone who genuinely loves me for me and adore them in return.
Life is a wonderful journey, and I don’t write about what if’s often, because I don’t live them; I never have. ‘What if’ ponderings for me are brief flecks of reflection that I choose to flick away in short order and they dissipate into the universe where they belong. I don’t even ask myself would I have done anything differently, because I am a realist and the facts are that I chose the turns and paths that brought me to this time and place.
Reality
Every decision made brought me to this special place called the here and now. I am a little over a week away from moving into a fabulous home in a great neighborhood of people, some I already know, and a whole lot of people I don’t. I will be able to walk through my neighborhood in the evenings and be safe. I won’t have to blind my windows from the outside world because the neighbors all watch and take care of each other. It will take time, no doubt, to trust in a safe environment again. I was concerned about the kitchen door having a plate glass window without a deadbolt (still am really) and the lady who rented the place to me laughed and explained that she could understand how I would be so concerned coming from the neighborhood I am. She said I am moving into a neighborhood where no crime exists. I agree the place I am moving is different, but I will never see the world through the same lenses she does, no matter how long I live in a ‘safe’ neighborhood; the days of unlocked doors, and unprotected dwellings are long gone as far as I believe, and that’s okay.
I can ride my bicycle to work on good weather days and hop the bus for a quick trip on the bad. Heck, once I drop some of the pounds and build my leg muscles up again I will be able to walk to work if I choose.I can begin living green and reconnecting with Mother Earth and Father Sun.
I dream of cozy winter evenings with nice music playing, candles twinkling, glass… or two of a nice warming wine, studying, reading, scrapbooking, cooking fabulous impromptu dinners for friends, taking long soaking baths in my great big old fashioned tub, beautiful winter mornings curled up on my new sofa by the window with a hot cup of coffee watching the birds flitter and vie for the new seed I put out for them. Summers will be filled with banks filled with lavender, emerald green grass, and the wonderful PNW cross breeze through the house. I can garden again if I want, and have a real kitchen to cook and store food. I will have backyard bbq’s and swing in my yard swing, or walk into the wonderful eclectic little town and enjoy waterfront walks or shopping n some of my favorite shops. I will know people again and they will know me. J
Nervous
I have not taken on the responsibility for full rent/full utilities since I owned my own home in Georgia. Have I made note of all my expenses, or did I miss one that will pop out of the dark at an inopportune moment and present a financial challenge that will deplete the joy I nurture in my life? Am I counting on this house too much? Will my anxious anticipation burn the house down before I can get there? Will the owner call me up and crush my dreams?
Hopeful
I can recapture and reconnect with the best part of life, and me.
Excited
Only nine more days to go before life begins again.
in season are not the only changes happening in our world. C and I are finally turning the last page on the latest chapter in our so called life. We are moving to a little house in a community that lies not far from my work, in a town that will offer us a safe place to reconnect with how life should be lived.
Living in such a bad area for going on five years has opened our eyes to so many of life's circumstances; some good, some not so good. No matter the circumstances and experiences of the last five years we are willing, able and ready to move beyond the life we endured here.
Reflective
Looking back I can’t help but wonder, briefly, where our paths would have lead us by now had I followed a different path. Would I have already moved to Spokane to be with my closest friends by now? Would I have moved back home and reconnected with a lifestyle I left for a reason? I might have found a jumping off place for career a lot sooner and I might have been finished with school by now. I may have met someone who genuinely loves me for me and adore them in return.
Life is a wonderful journey, and I don’t write about what if’s often, because I don’t live them; I never have. ‘What if’ ponderings for me are brief flecks of reflection that I choose to flick away in short order and they dissipate into the universe where they belong. I don’t even ask myself would I have done anything differently, because I am a realist and the facts are that I chose the turns and paths that brought me to this time and place.
Reality
Every decision made brought me to this special place called the here and now. I am a little over a week away from moving into a fabulous home in a great neighborhood of people, some I already know, and a whole lot of people I don’t. I will be able to walk through my neighborhood in the evenings and be safe. I won’t have to blind my windows from the outside world because the neighbors all watch and take care of each other. It will take time, no doubt, to trust in a safe environment again. I was concerned about the kitchen door having a plate glass window without a deadbolt (still am really) and the lady who rented the place to me laughed and explained that she could understand how I would be so concerned coming from the neighborhood I am. She said I am moving into a neighborhood where no crime exists. I agree the place I am moving is different, but I will never see the world through the same lenses she does, no matter how long I live in a ‘safe’ neighborhood; the days of unlocked doors, and unprotected dwellings are long gone as far as I believe, and that’s okay.
I can ride my bicycle to work on good weather days and hop the bus for a quick trip on the bad. Heck, once I drop some of the pounds and build my leg muscles up again I will be able to walk to work if I choose.
I dream of cozy winter evenings with nice music playing, candles twinkling, glass… or two of a nice warming wine, studying, reading, scrapbooking, cooking fabulous impromptu dinners for friends, taking long soaking baths in my great big old fashioned tub, beautiful winter mornings curled up on my new sofa by the window with a hot cup of coffee watching the birds flitter and vie for the new seed I put out for them. Summers will be filled with banks filled with lavender, emerald green grass, and the wonderful PNW cross breeze through the house. I can garden again if I want, and have a real kitchen to cook and store food. I will have backyard bbq’s and swing in my yard swing, or walk into the wonderful eclectic little town and enjoy waterfront walks or shopping n some of my favorite shops. I will know people again and they will know me. J
Nervous
I have not taken on the responsibility for full rent/full utilities since I owned my own home in Georgia. Have I made note of all my expenses, or did I miss one that will pop out of the dark at an inopportune moment and present a financial challenge that will deplete the joy I nurture in my life? Am I counting on this house too much? Will my anxious anticipation burn the house down before I can get there? Will the owner call me up and crush my dreams?
Hopeful
I can recapture and reconnect with the best part of life, and me.
Excited
Only nine more days to go before life begins again.
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